My Response
to my Husband’s Conversion to Catholicism
I had to
research the term religious conversion to make sure I had it correct. Wikipedia quotes the following: “religious
conversion' would describe the abandoning of adherence to one denomination and
affiliating with another. This might be from one to another denomination within
the same religion”. For those of you who
don’t know my husband, Enrique, has decided to become Catholic. This decision has been a year in the making,
and his confirmation was this Easter Saturday.
I anticipate
three reactions from those interested enough to read my blog; disbelief, curiosity,
or concern. You may be feeling a little
bit of all three of them. Still, there
may be some who just don’t see the significance in even writing about it. If you fall in the last category, you
probably don’t know Enrique and me very well.
Our whole marriage has been based on serving Jesus together, prayer, and
ministry to others. In fact we have
built our marriage around dreams of ministry and love for God. This
last three years have been extremely difficult for me. Losing my father, and coping with the decisions
that needed to be made for my hearing impaired daughter have definitely
challenged my faith. But this last year
has been one of the most difficult things I could have imagined. I never would have dreamed that my partner in
Christ would change his thinking in such a dramatic way. To add
to the pain, the timing of his
conversion has collided with the timing of my calling to ministry.
As many of
you know, if you have listened much to my teaching, I believed God called me to
full time ministry two years ago. I
experienced his confirmation of this calling, and I embraced it with my whole
being. Enrique’s conversion has challenged everything
I thought I knew. It would be a lie and
a poor witness to paint a picture to you that I have welcomed this change. I have cried, grieved, fought, cussed, and a
few times even given up hope. Enrique
and I have talked in circles weekend after weekend on why he has decided to do
this. I have questioned him on every
detail from praying to Mary, communion, confession, Papal infallibility, to Purgatory.
I have come to realize we believe
differently in regards to these issues, and it is a sin to continue to fight
over them. These things are not deal breakers though. They are different, and it would be naïve to say they are not significant differences. Yet, God desires peace and love in
my family more then he desires me to feel in complete agreement with my
husband. Selfishly, I have LOVED having my
closest friend and partner seeing spiritual things the same as I do. But even this precious blessing, does not
compare with walking right before God.
Enrique has
studied these topics in depth, and he is much more qualified to answer your
questions of “why” then I am. One book
lead to another, along with prayer, discussions with our pastor, discussions
with the local Catholic priest, and he has made up his mind this is what God
has called him to do. He knows the
Catholic faith better than many who were born Catholic, and he sees so much
beauty and depth in it. This is a sincere and prayed about decision he made. That is all I can say in response to why he has become Catholic. But I do have a lot
to say in regard to what God has shown me through this process.
He has shown
me that I am not as strong as I thought I was, but he (God) is stronger than I could
have ever known. He has shown me that even though there are
days I still feel led to ministry; my joy and peace come from God alone. Ministry will never fulfill my heart. I was wrong
about that. The only thing that will
ever truly give me peace is the one thing no one can take away from me, and
that is Christ. I was made for him first.
I believe God
allows us to go through difficult times.
I’m not saying the difficulties are from him, but I do believe he allows
them. He knows that when we come through
the other side and still love him that is a person that he can use. Look what Paul says in 1 Corinthians 1:5 for
the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through
Christ.
I have
researched and looked up marriages that have one spouse who is Catholic and one
who is Protestant. I have yet to find
any examples where the couple continued to minister in different churches and
thrive. In fact, on the internet most
couples find themselves merely coping.
Many times the wife follows her husband, and I can see the beauty in
this type of submission. But I honestly cannot
bring myself to research the documents Enrique has researched. I feel something holding me back. I have however, in the last two weeks drawn
very close to the Lord, and continued to read the scriptures daily. I have been amazed how his grace has sustained
me. I feel a peace about staying in my church with my church family, and I am blessed my husband also will continue to accompany me. With great thanksgiving, I have rejoiced at
hearing God's voice. He is teaching me a lot at this time, and I’m
excited that if I do get the opportunity to minster that I will not be the same
person.
I do not
know what Enrique and I’s future holds in regard to ministry, but I do know
what it holds in regards to eternity. I am learning to honor my husband. My husband loves the Lord, loves me, and loves
his family. I believe with my whole
heart we will be worshipping the Lord together forever. We
are still reading the scriptures and praying together, and we are still deeply committed
to one another.
I ask for
your continued prayers as we embark on a whole new journey of differing beliefs
in regard to doctrine. I ask for your sensitivity
in regards to asking me questions of why.
Enrique is the one who would be much better at answering those
questions.
Finally for
those of you, who have been led closer to the Lord through something Enrique
and I may have done, please know those things were and are real. God is deeply committed to you, so much that
he would send his only son. He is not a
God of confusion, and even in the midst of the unknown, he is present and
alive.
_With Love in Christ,
Heidi
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